Monday, June 28, 2010


Sleep has really been working against me here. To say that I'm not a morning person is a gross understatement. I typically fall asleep sometime between 430 AM - 600 AM and wake around 100 PM. With seminars starting at 930 AM, waking up is quite difficult, and especially so on those days when I need to over medicate to bring myself down or if I've been having bad anxiety.

Last night I realized I had been caught in a hypomanic cycle for the past couple of days, and so I decided I would need to take my meds earlier if I was going to take the extra dose of Seroquel to bring me down. Then a thunder storm started, so I had to take a PRN. Well, as you can imagine I woke up very sedated. At 430 PM. Which means: I missed class, I missed a lecture, and I missed both of today's games. I've been keeping it hush hush, but I've been late to seminar by 1/2 hour once already, missed today's, and missed two public lectures due to sleep. I really don't know how to solve this dilemma at the moment. Thankfully, back home, classes start at 600 PM, so it's not a permanent problem.

I still haven't secured an appointment with a therapist here. My boyfriend is visiting me this Thursday (whee!), so I need to have one for the 8th, the day he leaves. As someone with BPD, something like that is really enough to make me very unsafe and potentially headed for the hospital. Hopefully it doesn't fall through and I can get something for that day.

As for my studies, it's been intersting but political theory is somewhat new to me, so it gets a bit tiring. I've decided to spoil myself today and work on my thesis instead! I know it doesn't sound like the time of your life, but for me it's a refreshing oasis in the land of governmental analyses. A foundational part of my thesis is an interpretation of Roland Barthes's Camera Lucida, one of my favorite texts of all time, and possibly his most well-known work:

Anyways, one of his essays was published in Aspen, an art mag founded in the late 60s. They were functional for only a couple of years but had some really amazing issues. has them digitally archived on their website and I've been having fun looking around. The one that contains Barthes's essay is linked to the image below, but do peruse the archive. It's a fun mag! And if you ever have a chance to get your hands on them, they are fun to play around with as well.

1 comment:

  1. Man...the book and the Aspen no 5 and 6 look good!!.....

    I wanna read them and look at them as well!...:D

    Cheer up Janice! You almost there....I support you!

    I support you like I support England football!!

    Go JANICE til I DIE!!!!