WARNING: Some complaining and possible triggers ahead.
You know, I really thought today would be one of those rare days when I would have a completely positive post. Last night, I thought of all the wonderful things I'd be able to post today. I should've realized this wasn't going to be the case once Korea lost to Uruguay.
Well lo and behold, that was only the beginning, not the end. I slammed my laptop closed and retried calling health services to get an appointment for counseling services (which I desperately need soon), but apparently they don't take calls on weekends, despite what the woman told me yesterday. That was a no-go. So I went out for a walk to relax and instead ended up going to a Chinese restaurant for lunch, fully aware that I have about $20 to my name, but deciding to splurge on a meal anyway. The meal was... how do you say -- horrible. Unsatisfied, I started to head back home, but decided to stop at a Japanese restaurant instead. I ate another full meal, and left feeling like I was going to explode. After the major B/P sesh, I thought I'd get distracted and call my mom.
Instead of distraction she reminded me of my unfortunate impulsivity by lecturing me on how in debt I am upon opening my credit card statement. It just made me dwell on how horrible my addiction to food and my impulse to buybuybuy is, if I'm not drinking/using, or _______, or doing whatever other fucking negative coping behavior I'm engaging in. After deciding to boycott my mom by shutting off my phone, I SI-ed before I headed out the door to catch the U.S. and Ghana game at a shop across the way. FOR SURE, the U.S. will win, I thought. And they did put up a good fight. But in the end, they lost, and I left the shop quickly, feeling even worse.
But thankfully, there was one thing I knew would save the day -- a screening of Metropolis with The Alloy Orchestra playing an original score! And it was aurally orgasmic! They were great! Unfortunately the youtube video below is of much lesser quality than in real life, but you get a taste for their musical style, which i thought was beautifully appropriate. You can almost guess what scenes they're playing though you can't see the screen.
After the movie, I came home and talked to a friend and the boyfriend, read some sweet FB comments people left me, and even decided to talk to my mom again (Though I had to lie to her about the SI when she asked.), all of which sorta brought me back up. Or at least baseline. I guess that's better than bad? So here I am, back to square one. Oh well, whatever.