Sorry I haven't posted anything substantial in a while. I haven't been feeling too well, and have had work to keep up with on top of that. Apologies beforehand for the non-cohesive rambling ahead.
A lot of the weekend after my boyfriend left (last Thursday), I spent contemplating if I needed to be in the hospital or not and trying to stay out. My sleep has been pretty horrible and so has the eating, but mood-wise I've been mostly okay. For a couple of days I was sleeping around 8 or 9 A.M., and after drawing blood yesterday I was done. Since I've been dehydrated due to the eating, that was enough to exhaust me. I crashed out for a record 20 hours! I think I was too tired for the past two days to think about my mood. Today's been the worst day since last Tuesday or so.
I've been trying to do work for the past couple of hours, but with the mood and anxiety today, looks like it's a no-go. Also quite tired. I will try again in an hour or two, but as for the questions that need to be posted for every seminar by 10:30 P.M.... there goes 10:30. I was stressing about it for a second, but I just decided it's not worth the chaos of emotions coupled with impulsive self-destructive behaviors for two goddamn questions that need to be posted. My professor has also been notified about my on-the-brink-of-hospitalization-health, so I'm hoping she doesn't hold it against me too much.
Oh! I've also finally got around to seeing someone here starting last week. I've been seeing the pscyh and therapist 2x/wk since, which has been helpful. I'm debating if I need the hospital for just a day or something, but I'm worried if I go in tomorrow, I won't be discharged by Friday, which of course means discharge on Monday, and I really don't wanna miss class again (since I overslept again on Monday, yesterday). I will see how I feel after class tomorrow.
Anyways, nothing amazing to say. Just thought I would drop a line about how things are going.