Wednesday, September 15, 2010


Too bad this is the second time. And I'm anxious and upset as hell.

Tomorrow is the first day of the semester of my second year at CalArts and all I can think about is wanting to crawl into a hole and cry. Either that, or I wish someone would give me a magic pill that would fix everything. I know I shouldn't think of pills that way. But hey, if it could happen, I'm all about it. Unfortunately, I doubt this is likely, which is why I am writing in my blog and not swallowing pills. Or at least not any magic ones.

I suspect that I'm anxious because I haven't been able to perform academically, or perform anything in any capacity whatsoever these past couple of weeks. My fear is I'll have a horrible school year, never finish my thesis, miss PhD app deadlines, fail the GRE horribly, get even more distraught about my living situation and then I imagine all of this = a hospital stay smack dab in the middle of when everything is due.

Well, I'll let you know how it goes.

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