Too bad this is the second time. And I'm anxious and upset as hell.
Tomorrow is the first day of the semester of my second year at CalArts and all I can think about is wanting to crawl into a hole and cry. Either that, or I wish someone would give me a magic pill that would fix everything. I know I shouldn't think of pills that way. But hey, if it could happen, I'm all about it. Unfortunately, I doubt this is likely, which is why I am writing in my blog and not swallowing pills. Or at least not any magic ones.
I suspect that I'm anxious because I haven't been able to perform academically, or perform anything in any capacity whatsoever these past couple of weeks. My fear is I'll have a horrible school year, never finish my thesis, miss PhD app deadlines, fail the GRE horribly, get even more distraught about my living situation and then I imagine all of this = a hospital stay smack dab in the middle of when everything is due.
Well, I'll let you know how it goes.