Sunday, January 16, 2011


I drove home from my boyfriend's house last night in tears.

And it had nothing to do with my boyfriend or my day. We had a pretty good day and things went as usual. But for some reason when I was driving home, I felt it. I felt the too-much-fat everywhere. I'm not sure if it's because I delayed my fourth dose of meds of the day for a couple of hours or because the idea of food was invading my thoughts at 2 AM.

I felt something like a mixed episode coming on (which is super rare these days), and drove recklessly home to binge, cut, purge, and over-medicate. I kept wondering, "Is this all it takes?" Do I only have to forget my meds for something like three hours to begin to lose my sanity?

If that's the case, helllooooo old me.

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