I'm making a big move.
For many, it may seem banal. But for myself, I know I risk my sanity. I've decided that I can no longer deal with the weight gain that is the side effect of my medications. Unfortunately, this means reducing meds that have been very effective for me until now. While it has been really (and I mean really, really, really) helpful, it's made my eating out of control enough to depress me and cause me to self-harm more frequently the past two weeks.
I know it's the meds because I've been restricting more and working out regularly and I'll drop one pound a week. Maybe. And I've been abusing laxies more which is something I almost never due. But I've simply gotten that desperate. All in all, it's not worth it for me to take this strength of meds if it's going to result in me getting more engulfed in my ED and cruddy mood. I mean this is not 5 or 10 pounds we're talking about here. It's 30. And as if I didn't have enough problems with weight and food.
So, while I'm not planning to entirely get off my drugs (I mean, I do need to retain some semblance of humanity, here.), I would like to taper down a bit. I'm reducing my 800 mg of Seroquel at night, though I'll keep the 25 mg 3x a day. Within the last month I've tapered down my Depakote 250mg 3x a day to 125 mg 2x a day. I'm happy staying there for now. I have more faith with tapering down on Depakote since I haven't been on it as long and it's not my "main" one. The Seroquel I am nervous about. I started tapering down yesterday and took 700 mg. I will keep tapering till I get down to 500 or 600 mg, depending on how things go. No major withdrawal yet since it probably is still in my blood. However, I am veryyyyyy tired. I think this might be from some mild depression settling in due to the decrease in Seroquel that's making me want to crawl into bed all day. I also had mild halluncinations last night, but nothing too horrible.
Sorry for a dull entry filled with so many numbers. Wish me luck! I hope this helps.