Tuesday, October 11, 2011

I'm sorry I haven't written in a really long time. School + treatment has been really overwhelming. I guess I haven't explained yet that I started a partial hospitalization program for my ED last Tuesday. I went full time last week, but I guess I'm technically intensive outpatient now due to my school schedule.

Treatment is insanely hard.

I don't know how to push through. I keep asking myself, for what? Someone please tell me what the fuck I am fighting for. When you don't love yourself, "you" is simply just not a good enough reason to keep on.

I've given up on recovery for the past two days. I'm still unsure whether or not I will let my eating disorder win.

All I know is that I just want to hide in a hole and disappear.

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