Monday, November 28, 2011

I popped in a CD I burned during college (four years ago), when I imagine, I must have been in a similar emotional place that I am in now, and this song came on:



Things are not as bad as they were then, and I don't really want to go into details about that, but this past week back in LA brought up some things. Staying at my parents for the holiday wknd, having to eat in front of a lot of people (for Thanksgiving), drinking and using -- this wonderful cocktail stirred with the usual insecurities and negative thoughts....

I'm drowning and I need to breathe. Most things will just have to go on hold. even if it's just for four days. Maybe not doing any work this week. Well, kind of. Being in grad school, I can't shirk off everything. But it's totally bare minimum for me till Friday. Not finished grading those papers? It's ok. My students will survive. Not able to start on my thesis yet another week? Not the end of the world. I have bday celebrations on Friday, which I'm really looking forward to. But I also want to ground myself a little before I head back down to LA. No idea how I'm going to do it, but it's that or keep sinking further and further from the surface.

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